Those who love deeply are the lucky ones

I have been lucky in my life to have loved, and loved deeply.

I dropped my baby sister off at her university dorm today. And as I was helping her unpack her clothes, and watching her straighten her hair before going out on adventures with her new found friends, it hit me that my first year of school was a long time ago. My adventures with those friends surrounding the corner house are long since over and done with. We've all grown up and moved on to different phases of our lives completely independent of one another.

While that can be sad at times to realize, it is a miracle that I ever had them in my life to begin with, and that is lucky.

When I was a senior in high school I started writing a novel centering on Peter Pan. I was completely fixated on Never Neverland, and the idea that there was a place where one did not have to grow up - where things did not have to change. I watched the movie (2003) over and over and changed my computer password at school to reflect my new obsessive line of thought. I didn't want to leave that time and place (2008 in Hong Kong). Somewhere deep down inside of me, I knew that once I left, nothing would ever be the same.

I left, and I was right on the mark - it all changed.

And I could never go back.

Now I smile at what was just around the corner ("The entrance to our store is around the corner. There's no other way of saying that. It's not the name of our store. It's where it is. And you do not own the phrase 'around the corner.'") for me.

The people I loved in Hong Kong are people I will take with me for the rest of my life, maybe more. But, it didn't end there. I was so lucky, to have more people to love because I grew up - because I didn't escape to a world without change.

People come and go in our lives. Often it's hard to keep a hold on even one or two of them. If you are lucky, the ones you want to keep, want to keep you back, and a life-long friendship is forged that surpasses all distance, circumstance, and time restrictions.

Life is a bumpy journey, so don't forget to look around at who's on the ride with you; they just may end up making a Never Neverland in your heart where you can escape any time a certain song comes on the radio, or a distinct smell wafts your way. And those memories end up directing you to the second star on the right and keep you going on 'til morning.

I know I've said this before, but change is a beautiful and important part of life. Without it, life would not be as fragile, or as uniquely special from one moment to the next; it would become a film on Netflix instead of a one time showing of Les Miserables on a professional stage. One can be viewed anytime and the experience is cheap and replaceable - the other is once in a life time, invaluable and fleeting making it something you have to hold on to.


While I admit that Never Neverland will always carry some appeal, the reality of growing up allows so much more love than I ever imagined.

Goodnight, dear void.