I did it. I woke up this morning and I was twenty. Painlessly, in my sleep, I slipped from teenager to adult in one foul swoop. No turning back. I might have forgotten that today marked my entrance into adulthood had I not been woken up by my loving older sister, Kaylee singing happy birthday to me very loudly.
And I had the most amazing day.
Woke up.
Brushed teeth.
Gathered crap and change of clothes.
Raced to school.
Made it to chemistry 6 minutes late.
Crawled over people to get to an open seat.
Was bored to death by professors lack of teaching pertinant and new information.
Fell over people to get to the isle to leave.
Talked me my wonderful parents instead of listening to the boring one.
Laughed a lot.
Tripped over feet and bags on my way back to my seat.
Exited chemistry... blessed event.
Bought a large hot chocolate from my favorite man on campus.
Sat in a booth and finished reading about the ratification of the Constitution.
Diagramed all the important details of the American War for Independence and events leading up to and away from.
Attended the best history lecture of all time.
Got 10/10 on my history quiz.
Sped excitedly to CPK to meet my family for a birthday lunch.
Had a blast eating food, and being a family. (Wish Derrick could have been there.)
Wore my Birthday hat and took photos.
Shared a free birthday sundae with everyone. (Only the women, actually...)
Drove non chalantly to work and changed clothes.
Called and woke up my little sister, Anne just to say "hi".
Recieved a "Birthday Girl" pin to wear from my manager.
Worked the easiest closing shift I've ever worked.
Made people laugh.
Wished Happy Birthday by majority of people and loved it.
Got off early because everything was done.
Drove manager home and ended up chilling with her and her roommate and home teachers for hours.
Much laughter and chatter.
Drove home and on the way stopped in to show the Doll House the new 20 updo.
Blogged feeling contentment in my soul about the year to come.
Hope.
Goodnight, dear void.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Parting Thoughts of a Nineteen year old girl
I'm turning twenty in less than three hours and I feel I must post once more to really close the book on Abby: The Teenage Years...
I get really anxious before my birthday. Huge anxiety is linked to age increases for me. I don't want to waste being any age. And when it gets to be January again I feel anxiety, inevitably, that I haven't truly fulfilled being the age I am currently; I've wasted being X years old - how can I possibly turn Y years old?!
To counteract this axiety, I've divised a system. I make a list of all the new, fun, crazy, etc things I've done while being any certain age. Last year I even took it far enough as to do something I'd never done before every night the nineteen nights leading up to my nineteenth birthday. This year, I did not have that much time on my hands. However I've still done a pretty good job at compiling a list of twenty listworthy things I've done while being nineteen. It truly helps relieve the anxiety in my soul knowing that I really have lived up to being nineteen. So much so that I need to turn twenty before other people start feeling bad about how much they did not fulfill while being nineteen. It's only fair that I move on to twenty. Ready or not, HERE I COME!!!
Twenty (Crazy) Things
1.Drank Coffee (ON ACCIDENT!)
2.Dyed my hair brown
3.Karaoke :)
4.Drove over 100 mph (Can you say... WHOOSH!...?)
5.Visited a ghost town (Twice, even)
6.Went on a bus adventure
7.Attended the Nutcracker
8.Slept in the sand under the stars
9.Saw a live panda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Dream come true!)
10.Visited The Grand Palace (Thailand)
11.Took a canal ride
12.Rode an elephant!!!!!!!!
13.Learned how to change a car battery
14.Took a Lit class!!!!!!!!!! (Brit Lit and American Lit actually... amazing!)
15.Learned how to explain all the parts to the Drake Equation :) (Thank you Life in the Universe)
16.Flew all by myself (No Kaylee next to me jolting me awake every second...)
17.Earned Gold Scissors for exemplary Guest Service
18.Saw Avatar! (Movie of the century: Fifteen years in the making!!!)
19.Used Harry Potter Puppet Pals to Introduce myself and my house (Haha)
20.Finally bought a dress from Urban Wear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And so many more.
Nineteen was good to me.
And here comes twenty whether I want it or not. After a long chat with my parents and some one on one time with myself I feel like it certainly is time to move on from teenagerdom and into adulthooddom. It's a dom either way so really, what could be so differnt?
My last teenage words of wisdom:
LIfe is too short, way too short, to get caught up in the little things.
Just let it go. It's not helping you.
Take every oportunity to learn and use it to better yourself.
Love deep.
Trust strong.
Find time to sing, laugh, dance, and be silly.
Don't get so caught up in the details.
Don't place you happiness in someone else's hands. Take control of your own life.
Find your passion, and do it.
Never forget your family, they matter.
Sleep.
Goodnight, dear void.
I get really anxious before my birthday. Huge anxiety is linked to age increases for me. I don't want to waste being any age. And when it gets to be January again I feel anxiety, inevitably, that I haven't truly fulfilled being the age I am currently; I've wasted being X years old - how can I possibly turn Y years old?!
To counteract this axiety, I've divised a system. I make a list of all the new, fun, crazy, etc things I've done while being any certain age. Last year I even took it far enough as to do something I'd never done before every night the nineteen nights leading up to my nineteenth birthday. This year, I did not have that much time on my hands. However I've still done a pretty good job at compiling a list of twenty listworthy things I've done while being nineteen. It truly helps relieve the anxiety in my soul knowing that I really have lived up to being nineteen. So much so that I need to turn twenty before other people start feeling bad about how much they did not fulfill while being nineteen. It's only fair that I move on to twenty. Ready or not, HERE I COME!!!
Twenty (Crazy) Things
1.Drank Coffee (ON ACCIDENT!)
2.Dyed my hair brown
3.Karaoke :)
4.Drove over 100 mph (Can you say... WHOOSH!...?)
5.Visited a ghost town (Twice, even)
6.Went on a bus adventure
7.Attended the Nutcracker
8.Slept in the sand under the stars
9.Saw a live panda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Dream come true!)
10.Visited The Grand Palace (Thailand)
11.Took a canal ride
12.Rode an elephant!!!!!!!!
13.Learned how to change a car battery
14.Took a Lit class!!!!!!!!!! (Brit Lit and American Lit actually... amazing!)
15.Learned how to explain all the parts to the Drake Equation :) (Thank you Life in the Universe)
16.Flew all by myself (No Kaylee next to me jolting me awake every second...)
17.Earned Gold Scissors for exemplary Guest Service
18.Saw Avatar! (Movie of the century: Fifteen years in the making!!!)
19.Used Harry Potter Puppet Pals to Introduce myself and my house (Haha)
20.Finally bought a dress from Urban Wear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And so many more.
Nineteen was good to me.
And here comes twenty whether I want it or not. After a long chat with my parents and some one on one time with myself I feel like it certainly is time to move on from teenagerdom and into adulthooddom. It's a dom either way so really, what could be so differnt?
My last teenage words of wisdom:
LIfe is too short, way too short, to get caught up in the little things.
Just let it go. It's not helping you.
Take every oportunity to learn and use it to better yourself.
Love deep.
Trust strong.
Find time to sing, laugh, dance, and be silly.
Don't get so caught up in the details.
Don't place you happiness in someone else's hands. Take control of your own life.
Find your passion, and do it.
Never forget your family, they matter.
Sleep.
Goodnight, dear void.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
And then you talk some more and realize that the things you've been thinking and feeling for so long are not really what they were... as in if seen from another point of view they become completely different; actions, words, thoughts, ect, none the same. And really you've been the one all along. Not anyone else. You thought you were fixing things when you really had been creating things to be fixed and it's not until the end that you see all the problems you created in the beginning and you just want to fix them but you know the only way to really fix them is to just learn from them and move on. You can't go back and going back wouldn't really make the difference anyways. It's the future that shapes my destiny. The past is already written.
Goodnight, dear void.
Goodnight, dear void.
Once Again...
It never ceases to amaze me how much I truly don't know about myself and about life.
Just when I feel like I've got things down - I know what I want in my life and what I'm going to do next... and then... I don't. It's like just when you think you know for sure how you feel about a situation, you start talking about it and realize that it's not really like that at all and in fact it's completely different then you thought it was. And then everything falls into place. And you're happy. And you realize that everything is what you make it. And you can change everything if you really want to. And happiness is so much more real when you finally give up some things. Done. Over. And happiness sets in.
Goodnight, dear void.
Just when I feel like I've got things down - I know what I want in my life and what I'm going to do next... and then... I don't. It's like just when you think you know for sure how you feel about a situation, you start talking about it and realize that it's not really like that at all and in fact it's completely different then you thought it was. And then everything falls into place. And you're happy. And you realize that everything is what you make it. And you can change everything if you really want to. And happiness is so much more real when you finally give up some things. Done. Over. And happiness sets in.
Goodnight, dear void.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
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