Rome...Rome...Rome...

I'm finding that I spend a great deal of my time just thinking. Past, present, future... It doesn't really matter which of those I choose, thinking is done. I wish I were kidding when I say that some days I spend hours just sitting and thinking. Mostly I blame my adorable little sister for this past time. When Anne was little she used to not be able to sleep because she was thinking. No joke, she would spend a good hour or so starring at the wall, just thinking before falling asleep. She thinks and wonders about everything. When we were both younger, it used to drive me nuts. She had to ask questions about anything and everything all the time. Nothing was just accepted at face value. She had to know the why or how of it all. With growing into adulthood I have since ceased being annoyed with her inquiries and now admire the workings of her little mind. (Little - not noting the size but merely the age - comparatively - of her mind to my own or to ... the dinosaurs... ya, I should have stopped at dirt police.)I wish I didn't just accept the world around me but that I questioned and challenged it at every turn. Rome wasn't built in a day and hopefully there is still a chance for me to be like Anne.

Thankfully I now have a job where I get paid to do just that(...build Rome). Not that I get paid for the things I'm thinking because they are significant or profound... more that I now have the opportunity to sit in a cubicle for 8 hours, five of the seven days of the week. When I'm not studying or gabbing or otherwise filling my time, I just sit and think. My thoughts are sporadically interrupted by "Hello, thank you for calling Jitterbug"s but never for much more than 45 seconds. Then it's back to staring at Bekah's lovely colored pencil drawings and thinking more about:

my life and who it is that I would like to be someday,

or why it is that I'm currently in the emotional state that I am in,

or how it is that I've managed to screw up yet another set of relationships in my life without even meaning to or realizing it,

or which president was it that came after Jackson - Van Buren or Harrison?,

or which state is missing from the list this time - Mississippi or Kentucky?,

or who came up with the rules for naming bicarbonate sulfate and why is that the only organic compound I can remember?,

or why does the semi-creepy CS agent next to me have such a sexy voice?

or what do I need to bring on my trip to St. George?

or does semi-creepy CS agent man know I think his voice is sexy?

or where in the world DID my bandwagon go?

or how early do I really have to get up if I want to go to the gym tomorrow?

or why do I have NO desire to be in a relationship despite current situations being good and by all considerations the best prospects I've ever had?

or did Shopko have a matching necklace to go with those earrings and bracelet set I bought? Did I just miss it? What else can I wear with that? Pearls SO did NOT work!

...and so forth.

Now, I realize that this thinking isn't maybe as profound as some thinking, but I've come a long way.

Let's not lose focus here... Rome... Rome... Rome...

Ah phooey! It's all Greek to me anyways!

Goodnight, dear void.