Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Your Place in the Family of Things
We've all done it. We've all thought at one moment or another -wondered- what the world might be like if we weren't in it. Would the world fall to pieces because you weren't there to hold it all together? Or more likely, would the world go on seemingly unscathed by your absence?
I think at some point in all of our lives we truly believe the first to be true. How could the world possibly be the same if you weren't there anymore or worse, if you'd never existed at all?
And yet, as you get older and see the world for the big place it really is, you begin to realize just how it turns- with you or not.
I always thought that as I got bigger the world would get smaller, but it has continued to grow bigger somehow. Doesn't that seem to defy some law of aging, some right of passage that comes with entering adulthood?
No matter how big or how old I get, the world is bigger and older still.
My condo has a living room wall that doesn't reach the ceiling. It leaves a gap at the top so someone can stand on the second floor and look over onto the scene playing out beneath them.
It is amazing how easy it is to really see the world without you from up there. Sometimes it appears to be better with you removed from it. It seems to function and move differently - more perfectly as laughter and expressions of joy reach you eyes and ears. And you begin to wonder if they even notice that you're not there anymore. If you never came back down you could easily believe your existence insignificant and inconsequential; you could easily see the adaptations as progressions.
However, I truly believe that it is in these moments that it is the most important for you to return to the world from which you came. Because as you descend the stairs you discover just how dysfunctional the world had become without you. It still continues on, to be sure, but not the way it would have had you been there to smooth over the patches that could only be smoothed by you.
So you see, the world will always continue to spin; it is not up to you to make it do so. But you can help it along just by being you within it. And that is honorable too.
Goodnight, dear void.
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and deep rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting-
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
~ Mary Oliver. Wild geese.
I think at some point in all of our lives we truly believe the first to be true. How could the world possibly be the same if you weren't there anymore or worse, if you'd never existed at all?
And yet, as you get older and see the world for the big place it really is, you begin to realize just how it turns- with you or not.
I always thought that as I got bigger the world would get smaller, but it has continued to grow bigger somehow. Doesn't that seem to defy some law of aging, some right of passage that comes with entering adulthood?
No matter how big or how old I get, the world is bigger and older still.
My condo has a living room wall that doesn't reach the ceiling. It leaves a gap at the top so someone can stand on the second floor and look over onto the scene playing out beneath them.
It is amazing how easy it is to really see the world without you from up there. Sometimes it appears to be better with you removed from it. It seems to function and move differently - more perfectly as laughter and expressions of joy reach you eyes and ears. And you begin to wonder if they even notice that you're not there anymore. If you never came back down you could easily believe your existence insignificant and inconsequential; you could easily see the adaptations as progressions.
However, I truly believe that it is in these moments that it is the most important for you to return to the world from which you came. Because as you descend the stairs you discover just how dysfunctional the world had become without you. It still continues on, to be sure, but not the way it would have had you been there to smooth over the patches that could only be smoothed by you.
So you see, the world will always continue to spin; it is not up to you to make it do so. But you can help it along just by being you within it. And that is honorable too.
Goodnight, dear void.
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and deep rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting-
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
~ Mary Oliver. Wild geese.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Wrong Turn
Oh, blast! That was my exit. It's okay, I'll just get off down here and get back on track. Good thing I know so many ways to get home.
Union - is that Jenni's exit or is that the next one? Just get off. If it's not Jenni's I can fix it later.
Nope, definitely not Jenni's. That's okay. Just take the left and follow it around the corner and the freeway should be... hmmm. Well I don't see the freeway anywhere, but this is the right direction so it has to intersect with something I'm familiar with at some point. Let's just take it and see where it leads. It feels right...
Wait, I know this place.
Flashback:
1 February 2011
Cars drive through the same intersection and pull into the cemetery on the corner. People get out and gather around a family and a coffin. It is a cold morning, yet they stand still and quiet as tears trickle down their cheeks. A prayer is offered, people take photos and say goodbye before piling back into their cars and driving away.
Zoom in on the coffin.
Grandma.
Grandma.
Breathe.
Turn around.
This has to be where she is buried. I remember the cars and the coffin right here. I'm glad I brought a jacket because this rain and wind are going to be freezing.
Hi, Grandma. I miss you. So does everyone else. It's been really hard these last few weeks remembering that you're not here anymore. You're in my dreams. I really miss you, Grandma.
Rain mixes with tears as I stand drenched at my Grandmother's grave, not sure what brought me here or why, but grateful nonetheless to have a moment alone with Grandma Bishop. I miss her.
Goodnight, dear void.
Union - is that Jenni's exit or is that the next one? Just get off. If it's not Jenni's I can fix it later.
Nope, definitely not Jenni's. That's okay. Just take the left and follow it around the corner and the freeway should be... hmmm. Well I don't see the freeway anywhere, but this is the right direction so it has to intersect with something I'm familiar with at some point. Let's just take it and see where it leads. It feels right...
Wait, I know this place.
Flashback:
1 February 2011
Cars drive through the same intersection and pull into the cemetery on the corner. People get out and gather around a family and a coffin. It is a cold morning, yet they stand still and quiet as tears trickle down their cheeks. A prayer is offered, people take photos and say goodbye before piling back into their cars and driving away.
Zoom in on the coffin.
Grandma.
Grandma.
Breathe.
Turn around.
This has to be where she is buried. I remember the cars and the coffin right here. I'm glad I brought a jacket because this rain and wind are going to be freezing.
Hi, Grandma. I miss you. So does everyone else. It's been really hard these last few weeks remembering that you're not here anymore. You're in my dreams. I really miss you, Grandma.
Rain mixes with tears as I stand drenched at my Grandmother's grave, not sure what brought me here or why, but grateful nonetheless to have a moment alone with Grandma Bishop. I miss her.
Goodnight, dear void.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Human
Would you be suprised if I told you that I was human?
Would you judge me for making mistakes?
Would you look down on me for sitting this one out?
Would you be surprised if I told you I was hurting?
Would you judge me for feeling within?
Would you look down on me for taking what you say to heart?
Would you be surprised if I told you I was healing?
Would you judge me for leaving the past in the past?
Would you look down on me for not being able to do everything?
Would you be surprised if I told you I was human?
Would you judge me for making mistakes?
Would you look down on me for sitting this one out?
Would you be surprised if I told you I was hurting?
Would you judge me for feeling within?
Would you look down on me for taking what you say to heart?
Would you be surprised if I told you I was healing?
Would you judge me for leaving the past in the past?
Would you look down on me for not being able to do everything?
Would you be surprised if I told you I was human?
Knock on Wood
Okay guys,
I smell like gasoline, there are two cats haunting me outside my house, I've lost my voice, my Droid is not functional, my garage door is hanging slanted in front of my house, I haven't had wheat or sugar in two weeks, and tomorrow I start a multi-vitamin regiment that includes 10 different pills at nearly every meal... Oi.
What else could go wrong?
Goodnight, dear void.
I smell like gasoline, there are two cats haunting me outside my house, I've lost my voice, my Droid is not functional, my garage door is hanging slanted in front of my house, I haven't had wheat or sugar in two weeks, and tomorrow I start a multi-vitamin regiment that includes 10 different pills at nearly every meal... Oi.
What else could go wrong?
Goodnight, dear void.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
My Hair
Have you ever had those days when your hair just demands to be done?
When you step out of the shower and look in the mirror and you just can't do anything else BUT blow dry, straighten, and style your hair?
And then, once you're styled and looking gorgeous, you look back into the mirror and your hair demands that you wear something rockin'- probably with a heel - because you're just too brilliantly beautiful to go out in a boring 'everyday' outfit?
If you haven't you need a new hair cut, hair style, or hair color... perhaps all three.
If you read this, look in the mirror and expect your hair to speak verbally to you... you may want to seek professional help... this is a figurative "speaking" of your hair to your soul. And more than your hair it's mostly your beauty demanding to be exposed and shown off because it's tired of being hidden beneath your less-than-optimistic attitude.
My beauty 'speaks' (again figurative) to me via my hair because my hair is best friends with both my beauty and my soul, so it has the easiest time reminding my soul of my beauty.
It is possible that your beauty may 'speak' (figuratively) to you through different means - not everyone's beauty is best friends with their hair. Therefore it behooves you to spend a moment discovering what it is that is best friends with your soul and your beauty so as to be able to better understand it when it begins to 'speak' to you.
I find it necessary as well to point out that it is not requisite for every person in the world to put on a heel. For instance, there have been times when I have looked in the mirror and my beauty has demanded that I go to the gym to remind my soul that it is indeed friends with the gym. And in that case, the heel turned into a tennis shoe, so please don't get too hung up on high heels.
As well, men, you can still achieve this moment of dashing handsomeness - have no fear! This experience is by no means only important for women. Men of the world also need to be reminded that they are ruggedly handsome. In your case, don't be afraid to look in the mirror and say, "Yup. I still go 'it'."
That being said, every once in a while I find it important to spend some extra time on my hair and subsequently on my outfit for the day so when I step outside my beauty and my soul have rekindled their best friendship and every step I take is a strikingly beautiful one.
I firmly believe that everyone deserves to revel in this experience at least once.
Once a month that is.
If you find yourself struggling with hearing your beauty or struggling to see beauty at all - drop me a line. You ARE beautiful and/or dashing, as the case may be.
Next time you look in mirror, you may want to put your - figurative - listening ears on and take a good long listen to your beauty, it's probably time for a little showcasing.
I have a strange feeling that 'you still got it'.
I know I do.
Goodnight, dear void.
As a p.s.
I would just like to add here:
More often than not the days when my hair demands to be done and my beauty demands a showcasing are the very same days when it is gloomy, rainy, or snowy outside.
There have been several times that I have taken one strikingly beautiful step outside only to have my hair and outfit laughed at by the weather.
It is important to not be defeated by the weather's mocking chortle. While your beauty has expressed itself on that particular occasion through your hair and clothes, if either or both are to be tested by the wind and precipitation, remember that the showcase is nothing but a showcase - your beauty is ever present and even more tangible when you've been rained on and blown to bits.
The showcase is more for your than for anyone of the outsiders you may see surrounding you. Don't give in. Keep that glorious feeling - your 'I've still got it' feeling - with you with every step of the way. Who you are and the beauty you portray and bring to the table has not been destroyed even if your hair has gone flat and your wispies have gone wild. Your steps still show that stunning human being you saw earlier in the mirror. Keep that image with you and forget what the day may bring to your hair or other aspects of your ensemble. The confidence gained from your exercise in bridging the gap between your soul and your beauty will make all the difference.
Trust me.
I do this all the time.
Beauty is not defined ultimately by clothes or hair.
It may be hard to remind myself of this at times, but I nonetheless believe that it is true. I am beautiful beyond my hair and colorful wardrobe. And so are you.
As was once wisely expressed, "You're never fully dressed without a smile".
Take your smile to heart and remember that if your smile is the only thing that has lasted the whole day through, so your true beauty has too.
When you step out of the shower and look in the mirror and you just can't do anything else BUT blow dry, straighten, and style your hair?
And then, once you're styled and looking gorgeous, you look back into the mirror and your hair demands that you wear something rockin'- probably with a heel - because you're just too brilliantly beautiful to go out in a boring 'everyday' outfit?
If you haven't you need a new hair cut, hair style, or hair color... perhaps all three.
If you read this, look in the mirror and expect your hair to speak verbally to you... you may want to seek professional help... this is a figurative "speaking" of your hair to your soul. And more than your hair it's mostly your beauty demanding to be exposed and shown off because it's tired of being hidden beneath your less-than-optimistic attitude.
My beauty 'speaks' (again figurative) to me via my hair because my hair is best friends with both my beauty and my soul, so it has the easiest time reminding my soul of my beauty.
It is possible that your beauty may 'speak' (figuratively) to you through different means - not everyone's beauty is best friends with their hair. Therefore it behooves you to spend a moment discovering what it is that is best friends with your soul and your beauty so as to be able to better understand it when it begins to 'speak' to you.
I find it necessary as well to point out that it is not requisite for every person in the world to put on a heel. For instance, there have been times when I have looked in the mirror and my beauty has demanded that I go to the gym to remind my soul that it is indeed friends with the gym. And in that case, the heel turned into a tennis shoe, so please don't get too hung up on high heels.
As well, men, you can still achieve this moment of dashing handsomeness - have no fear! This experience is by no means only important for women. Men of the world also need to be reminded that they are ruggedly handsome. In your case, don't be afraid to look in the mirror and say, "Yup. I still go 'it'."
That being said, every once in a while I find it important to spend some extra time on my hair and subsequently on my outfit for the day so when I step outside my beauty and my soul have rekindled their best friendship and every step I take is a strikingly beautiful one.
I firmly believe that everyone deserves to revel in this experience at least once.
Once a month that is.
If you find yourself struggling with hearing your beauty or struggling to see beauty at all - drop me a line. You ARE beautiful and/or dashing, as the case may be.
Next time you look in mirror, you may want to put your - figurative - listening ears on and take a good long listen to your beauty, it's probably time for a little showcasing.
I have a strange feeling that 'you still got it'.
I know I do.
Goodnight, dear void.
As a p.s.
I would just like to add here:
More often than not the days when my hair demands to be done and my beauty demands a showcasing are the very same days when it is gloomy, rainy, or snowy outside.
There have been several times that I have taken one strikingly beautiful step outside only to have my hair and outfit laughed at by the weather.
It is important to not be defeated by the weather's mocking chortle. While your beauty has expressed itself on that particular occasion through your hair and clothes, if either or both are to be tested by the wind and precipitation, remember that the showcase is nothing but a showcase - your beauty is ever present and even more tangible when you've been rained on and blown to bits.
The showcase is more for your than for anyone of the outsiders you may see surrounding you. Don't give in. Keep that glorious feeling - your 'I've still got it' feeling - with you with every step of the way. Who you are and the beauty you portray and bring to the table has not been destroyed even if your hair has gone flat and your wispies have gone wild. Your steps still show that stunning human being you saw earlier in the mirror. Keep that image with you and forget what the day may bring to your hair or other aspects of your ensemble. The confidence gained from your exercise in bridging the gap between your soul and your beauty will make all the difference.
Trust me.
I do this all the time.
Beauty is not defined ultimately by clothes or hair.
It may be hard to remind myself of this at times, but I nonetheless believe that it is true. I am beautiful beyond my hair and colorful wardrobe. And so are you.
As was once wisely expressed, "You're never fully dressed without a smile".
Take your smile to heart and remember that if your smile is the only thing that has lasted the whole day through, so your true beauty has too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)