Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
My name is Abigail. Abigail Ridgely. And I'm running away.
What's the point? I keep thinking things will be different
this time. That things will change. And they aren't. And they don't.
So why stay here? Why be here? So I'm leaving.
It won't matter when I'm gone. A few people here and there
may notice my absense but it won't mean anything to them.
One more person to disappear from their lives. Soon enough
my position will be filled and one day they'll think, "What
ever happened to that girl? The one with the blonde hair? Did
she get married? What was her name anyway?..." And all I will be is
a memory. And I'm okay with that. Because in a week I won't even
remember their faces.
Life is what you make it. I've always believed that.
My mother was beautiful. She made the most wonderful lemonade out of
the most sour of lemons. And it worked for us. I'm just chosing to make
lemonade of a different flavor because the flavor I've made here is getting stale.
I thought once upon a time that my life would be glamourous and dainty.
It isn't. And I'm okay with that. I suppose not everyone's lives are dainty
all the time. Maybe I'm just in the slippery, sticky, very messy part of
my life that will pave the way for the dainty. Or maybe my life won't ever
be dainty. That's okay too I guess. Someone's got to have a non-dainty life and
if no one else can handle it I suppose it's up to me to take it on. Running away
is not the correct term I suppose.
My name is Abigail. Abigail Ridgely. And I'm moving on from the sticky.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Mr. Magness.
There is a customer who calls in on a very regular basis and asks to be connected with
different people on his phone list. He is a favorite among operators because before you
connect his call, if your patient he always says in the sweetest and most sincere old man
voice, "and thank you for heping me." (Heping not helping.) It makes all the people who yell at me or call me
stupid worth talking to just to get one call from him. Not sure who knew I needed it, but
I just got off the third call with Mr. Magness today. There is a note on his account that
says he often calls in and asks to be connected with random people in the nursing home.
Such was the case today I think. Each time he called, he asked to be read his list and then
would find a person he thought he should probably ring to check up on. He may or may not
be the sweetest man on the face of the earth. It broke my heart today as I read through
Mr. Magness' list and came to the name Tusome. As I read it and started to move on to see
who it was that Mr. Magness would decide to be connected with, Mr. Magness paused and said,
"Now that name, Tusome, that's my little brother. He died in June. Would you please take him
off my list?" It was so genuine and so sincere. I couldn't help but feel my heart ache for the
loss of this little brother. I deleted the record and told Mr. Magness to leave his phone on and
closed for 2-4 hours so that number would disappear. He said, "Tusome will be gone?" I almost
couldn't speak, "Yes, Mr. Magness, Tusome will be gone." I offered my condolences and expressed
my sorrow for his loss. I didn't want to move on but I had to. I finally read a name he thought
would be nice to ring and I put him through.
Before his calls I'd been thinking about a lot of inevitable changes that will be occurring in
my life in the next few weeks and months. I'm moving on. Changing. Finding something better than
what it is that I have. It will not be an easy change. But it is a neccessary one.
I have loved living in my house and have loved the people I have surrounded myself with.
I will miss the life that I have. And yet, I know that it is what I need to do. I don't know
where I'm going yet. Or really what it's going to be like.
Mr. Magness taught me though that there are always people to care about and always something
worthwhile. YOu just have to take the time to find it and to make it worthwhile.
Also when you judge a book by its cover you miss out on the book.
Goodnight, dear void.
different people on his phone list. He is a favorite among operators because before you
connect his call, if your patient he always says in the sweetest and most sincere old man
voice, "and thank you for heping me." (Heping not helping.) It makes all the people who yell at me or call me
stupid worth talking to just to get one call from him. Not sure who knew I needed it, but
I just got off the third call with Mr. Magness today. There is a note on his account that
says he often calls in and asks to be connected with random people in the nursing home.
Such was the case today I think. Each time he called, he asked to be read his list and then
would find a person he thought he should probably ring to check up on. He may or may not
be the sweetest man on the face of the earth. It broke my heart today as I read through
Mr. Magness' list and came to the name Tusome. As I read it and started to move on to see
who it was that Mr. Magness would decide to be connected with, Mr. Magness paused and said,
"Now that name, Tusome, that's my little brother. He died in June. Would you please take him
off my list?" It was so genuine and so sincere. I couldn't help but feel my heart ache for the
loss of this little brother. I deleted the record and told Mr. Magness to leave his phone on and
closed for 2-4 hours so that number would disappear. He said, "Tusome will be gone?" I almost
couldn't speak, "Yes, Mr. Magness, Tusome will be gone." I offered my condolences and expressed
my sorrow for his loss. I didn't want to move on but I had to. I finally read a name he thought
would be nice to ring and I put him through.
Before his calls I'd been thinking about a lot of inevitable changes that will be occurring in
my life in the next few weeks and months. I'm moving on. Changing. Finding something better than
what it is that I have. It will not be an easy change. But it is a neccessary one.
I have loved living in my house and have loved the people I have surrounded myself with.
I will miss the life that I have. And yet, I know that it is what I need to do. I don't know
where I'm going yet. Or really what it's going to be like.
Mr. Magness taught me though that there are always people to care about and always something
worthwhile. YOu just have to take the time to find it and to make it worthwhile.
Also when you judge a book by its cover you miss out on the book.
Goodnight, dear void.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
You Probably Think This Song is About You
Today I woke up after sleeping for 13 hours and looked up my old middle school, high school, and elementary
teachers. They are all still working in the same schools in mostly the same job positions as
they were when I had them as teachers. That is so quaint to me. I love that they all still exist
in the same little world of District 428 in DeKalb, Illinois. I love that. My theater Professer
often talks about how everyone is the protagonist of their own story, even though in a given
viewpoint they may look small and insignificant. All of my teachers from Mrs. Larsen
in Kindergarton to Mr. Lapeyre in Junior Humanities are the main characters in their own life stories,
while they weren't anything huge in mine.
When I moved to Hong Kong in 2007, my whole life
changed and my world shifted. At times I feel like it changed so dramatically that nothing should
still exist of my old life. And yet, it goes on. Without me. As if nothing had ever changed at all.
Because for them, nothing did change. A student they taught for one year, who wasn't really memorable
beyond her being exceptionally loud and mormon, moved to Hong Kong probably without them even
knowing. And her life changed as a result. What was to change for them?
Quaint. And lovely. The world
functions without me. Weird. I've always known I was vain, but after this morning's realizations,
I feel like maybe it's time again for me to start praying for humility... or maybe it's time for
another hair cut...
Goodnight, dear void.
teachers. They are all still working in the same schools in mostly the same job positions as
they were when I had them as teachers. That is so quaint to me. I love that they all still exist
in the same little world of District 428 in DeKalb, Illinois. I love that. My theater Professer
often talks about how everyone is the protagonist of their own story, even though in a given
viewpoint they may look small and insignificant. All of my teachers from Mrs. Larsen
in Kindergarton to Mr. Lapeyre in Junior Humanities are the main characters in their own life stories,
while they weren't anything huge in mine.
When I moved to Hong Kong in 2007, my whole life
changed and my world shifted. At times I feel like it changed so dramatically that nothing should
still exist of my old life. And yet, it goes on. Without me. As if nothing had ever changed at all.
Because for them, nothing did change. A student they taught for one year, who wasn't really memorable
beyond her being exceptionally loud and mormon, moved to Hong Kong probably without them even
knowing. And her life changed as a result. What was to change for them?
Quaint. And lovely. The world
functions without me. Weird. I've always known I was vain, but after this morning's realizations,
I feel like maybe it's time again for me to start praying for humility... or maybe it's time for
another hair cut...
Goodnight, dear void.
Thumbelina
It has been brought to my attention that some people do not believe my choice in movies is worth their time. Sad really. Bless her heart. This post is for you.
According to The New York Times this,is a list of all the movies I enjoy that are part of the 100 best children's movies of all time...
Thank you very much.
Beauty and the Beast
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Emma
Fiddler on the Roof
Field of Dreams
The Great Escape
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
The Iron Giant
James and the Giant Peach
The King and I
A League of Their Own
The Lion King
The Little Mermaid
A Little Princess
Little Women
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Mary Poppins
Monsters, Inc.
Mrs. Doubtfire
The Music Man
My Fair Lady
The Princess Bride
Raiders of the Lost Ark
The Rookie
The Secret Garden
Singin' in the Rain
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
The Sound of Music
Star Wars
Sullivan's Travels
To Kill a Mockingbird
Toy Story and Toy Story 2
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
West Side Story
Who Framed Roger Rabbit
The Wizard of Oz
Thumbelina may not be on this list, but I bet it was a close runner up, to be sure.
With love.
Goodnight, dear void.
According to The New York Times this,is a list of all the movies I enjoy that are part of the 100 best children's movies of all time...
Thank you very much.
Beauty and the Beast
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Emma
Fiddler on the Roof
Field of Dreams
The Great Escape
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
The Iron Giant
James and the Giant Peach
The King and I
A League of Their Own
The Lion King
The Little Mermaid
A Little Princess
Little Women
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Mary Poppins
Monsters, Inc.
Mrs. Doubtfire
The Music Man
My Fair Lady
The Princess Bride
Raiders of the Lost Ark
The Rookie
The Secret Garden
Singin' in the Rain
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
The Sound of Music
Star Wars
Sullivan's Travels
To Kill a Mockingbird
Toy Story and Toy Story 2
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
West Side Story
Who Framed Roger Rabbit
The Wizard of Oz
Thumbelina may not be on this list, but I bet it was a close runner up, to be sure.
With love.
Goodnight, dear void.
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